9's stay as long as the relationship isn't disturbing their precious peace. Others might be a bit shy when it comes to flirting, and so they will utilize common interests as a means of getting close to the person they are attracted to. When their dreams for the relationship collide, they need to process logically and without withdrawing into their inner world and may need specific tools to improve communication. #5 is for everyone, love your process and give yourself space and time. If Nines see the silver lining in every cloud as a way of protecting themselves from the cold and rain, other types have their distorting viewpoints, too. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 9 & Type 1 Glow Pairing Guide! More than any other type, Nines demonstrate the tendency to run away from the paradoxes and tensions of life by attempting to transcend them or by seeking to find simple and painless solutions to their problems. (Some Nines run around doing errands and think that they are getting enough exercise.) Twos make people feel cared for and put in the practical work to actually fulfil their needs. That's why I want you to get to listen to thisimportant podcast episode. I am very conscientious, sincere, organized, hard working and practical. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 9 & Type 3 Glow Pairing Guide! Nines must learn to prioritize self-care and communicate their feelings effectively to thrive in their relationships with others. Contrast this with Fives, who dont care that much about pleasant resolutions, because what they need is clarity, even if it comes at the cost of simplicity. Someone who doesnt take the time to check up on them, is going to make a type 9 individual rather unhappy in their relationship. Level 3:Optimistic, reassuring, supportive: have a healing and calming influenceharmonizing groups, bringing people together: a good mediator, synthesizer, and communicator. Enneagram Type 9 in Depth Nines are kind and easygoing people. I was listening to that song by Hozier Someone New yesterday and it made me think of this thread. They are naturally trusting; they feel better the less they have to think about potential points of conflict. Take off the rose-colored glasses. Type Nines and Type Eights love creative and innovative experiences. The emotional drive of type 9 is called sloth which refers to a sense of inertia or laziness particularly with regard to yourself and your priorities or agenda. Though they may not always feel comfortable sharing their innermost feelings, they often show their love to each other in acts of service, in consideration for the others likes and preferences, and in their unique sense of humor. I'm really sorry that you had to go through this. Together, they each learn to take their time in their leisure and work pursuits, and they also allow each other the time to withdraw as needed. But I tend to become distant a lot and it's what's ended my relationships before. We have called personality type Nine The Peacemaker because no type is more devoted to the quest for internal and external peace for themselves and others. Stripe sets this cookie cookie to process payments. The Enneagram is a highly sophisticated system of nine personality profiles that are meant to help us know ourselves and others "as we/they are to themselves". 9's are really in touch with others' emotions and tend to know how much cheating would hurt their SO. Copyright 2021, Truity. They both possess a grounded and practical desire for fun and relaxation. Other names: The Investigator, The Observer, The Scientist, The Loner. They are motivated by the need to keep the peace, connect with others, and avoid conflict. Level 4:Fear conflicts, so become self-effacing and accommodating, idealizing others and "going along" with their wishes, saying "yes" to things they do not really want to do. They are people-pleasers, which means they will go above and beyond in order to make the person they are attracted to happy. The most basic desire of the Enneagram Type 9 is to have internal peace. How can I keep my relationships intact without letting others make the decisions all the time? Type 1: The Reformer. 1. My uncle on the other hand is a 9w8 and he's a serial "cheater" :P. So I think wings have something to do with this. Misidentifying Enneagram Type 9 and Type 4:The Peacemaker and the Individualist. They are attracted to someone who is patient and who is capable of anticipating their needs. While both types share a sense of idealism and a discomfort with their anger, Nines clearly differ from Ones by their reluctance to enter conflicts. I never cheated on her but around half a year ago we decided to open up our relationship -we now have a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" agreement. Below is a list of the 9 Enneagram types. I hide myself in activities to not think about my feelings Generally, type nines are kind, gentle, reassuring, supportive . How can I stand up for and assert myself without being afraid of hurting people? Also, they want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent . Nines get excited about their free time. I've never cheated tho, just flirted. Sevens try to escape feelings of being bored or afraid, of having to look the darker aspects of life in the eye. It also helps to gain a deeper understanding of what motivates the people around you, and helps to comprehend why they contradict themselves at times. To say it with the smallest amount of words possible: Nines, called Peacemakers, live, as their name implies, in a world of tranquility, where comfort is their highest goal and peace needs to be maintained at all costs. Trusting of self and others, at ease with self and life, innocent and simple. Sometimes called the peacemaker, peacekeeper, or mediator but we did took a poll and the majority preferred Enneagram Type 9: The Peace Seeker! Enneagram Type 9 Personality Traits Valuing a balance between mind and body, Peacemakers desire unity and unconditional love. This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions. Red, a nationally known business consultant, comments on this tendency: I am aware of focusing on other people, wondering what they are like, how and where they live, etc. Enneagram Type 9 has the Primary Polarity of "Trying not to disturb the peace." The Polarity of the Type shows a movement towards a set of qualities and a movement away from its opposites. They work to maintain their peace of mind just as they work to establish peace and harmony in their world. They are most attracted to someone who makes them feel heard and valued, someone who is capable of understanding who they are and what they want. Depressants and psychotropics, alcohol, marijuana, narcotics to deaden loneliness and anxiety. It is worth examining your type's tendency to go along with others, doing what they want to keep the peace and be nice. Here are, It's Black History Month, and were highlighting trailblazing Black women who use their innate gifts to remind us w, When a relationship ends, it can be hard to let go and move forward, especially for INFPs. The Five Love Languages is a registered trademark of The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, which has no affiliation with this site. I would have felt terrible cheating because I knew that would have hurt my partner, but that didn't mean I wasn't interested in having sexual experiences with other women. #3 is good for a Three and #4 is great advice for a Type Nine. Generally corresponds to the Schizoid and Dependent personality disorders. A study published in the Journal of Adult Development found that participants who took part in an Enneagram training program showed improvements in ego development and personal growth. And with more accessibility to infidelity than ever before, our culture is caught up in the aftermath of what to do about it if and when it happens in a couples life together as well as how to prevent it.And though each narrative is different, we heal together. People with a type 9 personality are quite accepting in their behavior. Ironically, for a type so oriented to the spiritual world, Nine is the center of the Instinctive Center, and is the type that is potentially most grounded in the physical world and in their own bodies. Especially when things get difficult, we keep choosing to love. How Does The Enneagram Work? I have never met someone who seems as stable as him, but I think that is large part because we grew up together and became ourselves individuallybut also as a couple. Being ignored makes them feel like they dont matter, and so they need to feel that constant reassurance. Many will never know the charming love between two Nines, which can be sweeter than fiction. Also I start fantasizing about other people when I get scared I realize. Work on focusing your attention to become an active participant in the world around you. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Which do you relate to the most? Try to become more mentally and emotionally engaged. Needs to be patient with recovery work and release judging.Type 2 - Needs to realize falling in love can happen when you least expect it. Once the Six allows the Nine to grow independently and the Nine understands the logical steps the Six needs to take to find security, they vibe so well. Consequently, Nines like to think deductive: From the big and general to the small and applicable. If this happens, the couple will need communication help. This misidentification is quite common, since both types are more on the introverted side and are usually humble, unassuming people. Hes my person . The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. "Infidelity work often involves us excavating into wounds that often predate the marriage itself. To be sure which one shapes your personality at the core, keep in mind what their deeper motivation is: Eights find conflict energizing and stimulating because it gives them a chance to protect their strongest desire of feeling strong and protected. Their biggest goal is simply to find harmony within themselves and the world around them, which can make them amazing at bringing people together. Enneagram Type Nine The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring Agreeable, and Complacent Type Nine in Brief Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. Enneagram Type Nines and Type Threes share a rare ability to dive deep into passion projects and a love of culture and style. Especially when things become kind of heavy in the relationship - arguments arise. Type 6: The Loyalist. In relationships they are undemanding and like their lives and homes to be comfortable. 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